The moment you choose yourself

Choosing yourself isn’t about being loud or turning your life upside down overnight.

It also resides in the quiet moments, the ones that nobody else hears or notices. It can look like saying no without over-explaining yourself, saying yes without justification, and most of all it needs to feel right. To you.

There is no magical recipe to choosing yourself. It can look drastically different from one person to another, from one day to another. What it looks like does not matter. It needs to feel right for you on the moment, without anyone else involved in your choice.

As women, we have been taught to care for others, for our children, our partners, our families, but we have been taught very little about caring for ourselves. And when we start doing so, we are being called selfish, high-maintenance or princesses.

But what if we are princesses? We should be treated as such.

It’s like the whole world is going upside down, the polarities are reverse, and instead of pleasing everyone at the cost of our own selves, we start choosing ourselves. It does not mean we won’t care for others, nurturing is in our innate nature, but we do it differently. We do it from a full cup instead of an empty one.

And sometimes it will look like we are being selfish. So be it.

Women do so much work on a daily basis, one that is often quiet and behind the scenes. It’s the nice flowers on the table, the smile after a long day, the loving hand on the shoulder. These gestures come naturally. But they can also be our demise.

We have often been told to smile, be nice, never complain, be polite, don’t get angry, be there for others, etc. And if these beliefs are also present in male education, there are much more significant for women.

Think about all the centuries where we had to be quiet, where we could not even go outside without a man, or where doing what we loved could mean imprisonment. Just for being us. This kind of trauma still lives in our bodies and systems.

If we are turning the wheel today, it is still very recent effort and some patterns are still very loud in our systems.

Say no when you feel like saying no, say yes when you want to, and remember you don’t owe any explanation to anyone. Say no to the party, to the job, to the relationship.

Say yes to the trip, your self-care and most importantly to yourself. Do not shrink for anyone, do not do something to people please if your heart is not in it, do not dim your light because others around you are afraid that it might be too bright.

Be yourself in all your glory, in all your light and magnificence, without ever having to make yourself small for people who want to keep you in a cage.

Choose the people who want to see you shine, not the ones who are afraid of your light. And remember that anyone who makes you doubt about who you are and what you stand for will never be for you.

This blog and newsletter is for all women out there who want to feel empowered and keep choosing themselves everyday.

Choosing yourself is not a one time thing, it is something that needs to happen everyday of your life, even on the ones when it feels like a challenge. It is also for the men who want to help empower women and understand the world better through that lens. And it is for anyone who wants to feel empowered and read about modern love and inner authority.

Thank you for being with me here today and I will see you for the next issue 🤍

Elodie